The Lord is my Shepherd, I lack nothing!

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. 
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. 
He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. 
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; 
your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. 
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 
Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, 
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Carolyn continues to get a little weaker each day. She also sleeps most of the day except to wake up to say "hi" or to take sips of water. She's been complaining that she is frustrated about how much she is sleeping. Hospice came on Monday and confirmed that she looks to have no more than a week or two left. Our nurse guesses that she will slip into a coma a couple days before her body lets go.

She is just so amazing even in her last days. She says "thank you" and "I love you" as often as possible. Pats my hand and smiles when she is too weak to talk. They say your true self comes out near the end and her core is absolutely beautiful - kindness, joy, patience, understanding. She embodies the fruits of the spirit like I've never seen from anyone before. Last night she gripped my hand especially hard - I think it was her way of trying to express everything she can't say.

I have her all set up in her beautiful room that looks like it could come straight out of an Anne of Green Gables novel. She stays there all day where visitors can sit in the sofa chair and visit with her. This also allows Melissa to come over with her girls and the girls can play downstairs while Melissa and I visit with her in her room. Yesterday I spent the day vacuuming and cleaning the room to make it as cozy as possible and she was so happy to have her room looking pretty. Uncle Dan and Aunt Jan sent some beautiful spring flowers for her room, and Aunt Cindy brought over some candles. She was so happy that she asked me to spread the candles out around the room so that she could look at them.

We spend each day watching Leave it to Beaver - although I'm really the one watching while she sleeps. And when she wakes up Melissa and I will chat with her while she listens. And boy does she listen. Even when you think she is asleep she is listening. And she will ask questions later about your conversation ... but usually she gets all the details confused in her mind. We've found that we can't talk about anything but good memories and how we love her. Otherwise she spends too much time and strength trying to sort out what we are saying.

For those of you who may not know my mom very well, I wish there was some way that I could show you or explain how amazing she is. She spent all of her life being the best mom two little girls could ever ask for. All the details that she put into things was amazing. She set up so many wonderful tea parties, Anne of Green Gables and doll parties, treasure hunts, fun items for us to play "school", doll baths outside with a clothes line to dry their clothes, and more. She'd also put so much time into little things too - Melissa and I have been going through a lot of the old things that she'd kept and found things we'd completely forgotten. Such as, she would draw a road on construction paper with little signs next to them that said "good job!" and "almost there!" where if we had been good that day, we got to put a sticker in the block on the road and once the stickers filled up to the "end" of the road we got to go to Dairy Queen. She made being a good girl a fun event. :) She'd also leave little love notes in our lunch boxes, sew all of our beautiful clothes, give us special dolls to played with only on Sundays, heart shaped chocolate cakes on our birthdays, and more.

And even here at the end of her life, the most important thing to her has been the legacy she will leave behind for me, Melissa, her grandchildren, and future grandchildren. She's written hundreds of letters for us to read through after she is gone, has prepared an old antique trunk for each of us filled with gifts, and small trunks for Chandler and Taylor as well as one for my future children.

I love her so much and am happy for her that she will get to see Jesus soon ... but sad for the hole she will leave in my life. There's nothing quite like having your mother to talk to and enjoy life with over a cup of tea.

Cleaning our doll clothes and hanging them to dry.

The dresses she sewed for us.

The annual heart shaped chocolate cake for our birthdays!

Making wrapping paper for Christmas gifts.

She took us to the park often.

Making gingerbread cookies!

Valentine's Day with special Sunday gifts.

Anne of Green Gables Party